| Friday, August 20th, 2010 |
| 11:49 pm |
I love my husband so much. He is my world. I never thought I could love someone that much. I am grateful for every day that we are together. |
| Friday, April 2nd, 2010 |
| 7:33 pm |
Your the harmony to my heartbeat, baby.
Why is it any of your damn business what anyone else is doing with THEIR life. Get the fuck over yourself and leave people alone. No one likes your drama filled bullshit anyways. If someone is happy, why try raining on their parade. And if they make a mistake it is their mistake to make. Not yours to tell me that I am. I believe thats what free will is. People are gonna make their own decisions about their lives no matter how many times someone tells them not to. |
| Wednesday, March 10th, 2010 |
| 8:46 am |
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| Sunday, January 31st, 2010 |
| 10:12 pm |
17 days til I will be home again! |
| Wednesday, January 13th, 2010 |
| 7:45 pm |
Where my heart is.
You try so hard to get away from somewhere, and then sometime down the road you discover thats the only place you to be.  |
| Thursday, January 7th, 2010 |
| 9:16 pm |
You know something I hate my last name, cause it is a constant reminder of my father, who was never a part of my life, and the only thing he really ever gave me was my last name. Oh well. Anyways looks like its going to be longer until I can get home, probably won't be until April, which will be exactly a year since the last time I was home. I just enrolled for 3 classes this semester lets see if I can handle it, I wanna get my degree before the end of this year. And yes my lady you are my rock. And always will be. I wish I could be there everyday. 2012 is right around the corner. |
| Thursday, December 17th, 2009 |
| 9:43 pm |
My mom, Jess, and Row. These people are always there to tell it like it is, be there when I am miserable and bring me back to life. 3 people, 3 is a low number, but I wouldn't ask for a higher number, cause they are my people. I love you. Life is rough sometimes but then you have people to pull you out of the darkness and bring you back to the light. I needed them bigtime today and they were amazing like always. I have to make sure someone is gone before I can come home. But it will be soon. I need a break from all of this. |
| Saturday, December 12th, 2009 |
| 10:44 pm |
So I guess its true, you may graduate high school and leave town and start a new life. But people never leave that mentality of high school behind. Oh well for those poor and unfortunate souls. I am better than that and you. I will fight the good fight, until the end because when I give up on the things that are worth fighting for, then I become like you, and thats something I refuse to do. You ALL are done walking all over me. No more ms. nice girl. |
| Tuesday, December 8th, 2009 |
| 8:44 pm |
Just reminiscing tonight about my past. I loved you so much but I was so young and naive back then and since you I led myself to believe that I didn't deserve anything more than one night stands and loveless relationships. But I was so wrong and I deserve so much more. And I know as much as I say it or write it on LJ I still don't believe it myself and its a hard thing to convince yourself to be better when people constantly tell you that you are not. I pray everyday that I continue to have the strenghth to overcome my worst critic(myself). I take so much for granted. I bring myself down because I don't know how to bring myself up. And Clayton, you told me something I already knew about myself, something you loved, but you are just like the rest of them and what sucks is I put so much faith in you and you just let me down. I love you as a friend and always will, but I will no longer be a clutch to you or anyone else. Sex complicates things and honestly I wish I could take it back to bring it back to where we used to be. And you, Sarah are so selfish and attention seeking and it annoys me just to see your face now and that sucks. But I just can't take it anymore, I need balance I am always there for everyone and for once I just need someone to be there for me. I guess that makes me a hypocrite. And I didn't make third, and no one understands how much that hurt when I found out. I mean don't get me wrong I am so proud of everyone who made it but geez some good news would be good occassionally. Also its been 4 years 1 month and 8 days and it still hurts just as much today as it did then and I just want to know when I won't hurt anymore. One more thing I forgive everyone including myself for any wrongs they have done to me or I have done to them. |
| Friday, November 27th, 2009 |
| 4:14 am |
I'm leaving on a jet plane
On my way to VA for a much needed vacation. I will be home in January for those who would like to hang out. |
| Sunday, November 1st, 2009 |
| 8:02 pm |
I think one of my problems in relationships is that I refuse to just settle down with someone I know I want be compatible with. But at the same time I keep them around until I find something better. Yes I know I am a shitty person at times. The fuck if I am perfect. |
| Monday, October 19th, 2009 |
| 11:57 pm |
Your so elusive boy. Keep moving forward, I won't let you drag me down. I miss so many people. |
| Friday, October 9th, 2009 |
| 1:39 am |
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| Saturday, July 11th, 2009 |
| 5:31 pm |
fludgin hlangovers
So started new shift at work its now 4 on and 4 off with a training day and pt. I dont really like it all, I miss my section like crazy, we were such a close knit group. And I like working nights better. And I dont like having guardmount first and then arming up. And working 8 hours is nice but basically I end up getting stuck on post the whole time and not getting anytime in the unit. I had my sentry board and I passed. Yay for me. Now I am working on my patrolman pqs, then I want to get rfi and dispatch qualed. So just in case you all didn't know the saying out of sight out of mind is horseshit. I miss him and think about him everyday...I guess thats what I get for becoming best friends and starting to fall for someone who is married. Other than that shit I am starting my other sleeve on the 17th, I fould a pretty legit tattoo shop out in Tulare. Thats pretty much it right now... |
| Monday, June 29th, 2009 |
| 3:51 am |
somehow my life repeats itself.
No matter what you say to me. I know I am the one who is gonna be the one to be hurt in the end. And you aren't the one to be blamed. You have more to lose. Just so you know you have made a difference in my life. |
| Tuesday, May 26th, 2009 |
| 6:17 pm |
Oh lj drama...
I think its so funny that people now way out of high school still take times out of their lives to talk shit about people on lj. But ya know I guess thats just where no one change because I know adults that do it. For real I have been in the military and I do love it but sometimes the gossip and politics is just ridiculous like for real leave people alone and let them do their jobs. |
| Sunday, May 10th, 2009 |
| 7:37 pm |
Were meant to lose the people we love, how else would we know how important they are?
I am so lost. I am so confused. And maybe its me being nostalgic because I am in an entirely new place with very few people that I know. And I have been thrown back into that pile of politics that I forgot how much I truly despised it all. I guess things can only be good for so long. There are just so many things that are going through my mind and so many different things that I am feeling and I really don't feel like I have anybody to talk to because I am not sure if they know how I feel. Or maybe its just that they woulndt know what to say and maybe that's not even the point. |
| Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009 |
| 12:28 am |
I just made a twitter account. It seems pretty homo...but I guess we'll see. |
| Monday, April 6th, 2009 |
| 1:05 am |
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| Tuesday, March 24th, 2009 |
| 2:53 pm |
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laughterwithans's journal